Poetry In The Style Of Shel Silverstein

I cannot go to school today,

Said Little Jonny Ted McKay,

I feel sick, I'm constipated,

My brain power is over-rated!

I've been poisoned by a nuke,

And now I think I'm going to puke.

Down my leg-a cut, a gash,

Across my face, a big, red rash.

Inside my stomach are painful ails,

My head is full of big steel nails.

From last night, I'm completely drunk,

I think from school I'll do a bunk! 

I'm to tired to socialise,

A day off school, that will make me rise!
I've got a headache, now I feel dizzy,

One school day is just too busy.

From a fall I've a broken leg,

This injury's brought me down a peg!

I bumped my head, as I'm tall and lanky,

My Maths teacher is just so cranky.

My bladders like a leaking tap,

I can't go to school, I lost the map.

I've got cramp and a big black bruise,

Spots come up in ones and twos.

A wooden branch fell on my head,

It would be healthy to stay in bed!

I've gone green; I look like a frog,

I'm always trying to get to the bog.

My skin looks like lumpy custard,

My brain feels like a ton of mustard!

Last nights chicken gave me Salmonella,

I'm about to lose what makes me a fella!

Nasty turquoise is the colour of my drool,

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!!!

Whats that? Whats that you say?

You say today is...Saturday?!

G'bye, I'm going out to play!

By Finlay